My niece recommended the book “Meditations for Mortals,” by Oliver Burkeman, and I loved it.
The book is to meant to be read one short chapter each day.
There are too many takeaways for me to share in one post, so here is part 1 of my favorite excerpts, with my thoughts added in parentheses at the of several of the entries…
- You think the problem is that you have far too many things to do, and insufficient time in which to do them, so that your only hope is to manage your time with amazing efficiency, summon extraordinary reserves of energy, block out all distractions, and somehow power through to the end. In fact, your situation is worse than you think – because the truth is that the incoming supply of things that feel as though they genuinely need doing isn’t merely large, but to all intents and purposes infinite. So getting through them all isn’t just very difficult. It’s impossible… an important psychological shift occurs whenever you realize that a struggle you’d been approaching as if it were very difficult is actually completely impossible. Something inside unclenches. It’s equivalent to that moment when, caught in a rainstorm without an umbrella, you finally abandon your futile efforts to stay dry, and accept getting soaked to the skin. Very well, then: this is how things are. Depending on your situation, there might be serious repercussions to letting certain tasks fall by the wayside. But if doing everything that’s demanded of you, or that you’re demanding of yourself, is genuinely impossible, then, well, it’s impossible, and facing the truth can only help. (This reminded me of a note to self I created a few years ago, and look at every Monday, that says, “Don’t Sweat To-Do List,” which took a lot of weight off my shoulders.)
- Your problem might be that you’re a perfectionist, but that situation is worse than you think, too, because the truth is that no work you bring into concrete existence could ever meet the perfect standards in your mind.
- Imposter syndrome? You might believe you need more experience or qualifications in order to feel confident among your peers; but the truth is that even the most experienced and qualified people feel as though they’re winging it, much of the time – and that if you’re ever going to make your unique contribution to the world, you’ll probably have to do it in a state of feeling unprepared… because you’ll never produce perfect work, you might as well get on with doing the best work you can. (It has been helpful to me to realize that famous people, as well as mentors and others I have looked up to in my life, don’t know it all, and are stressed like everyone else.)
- Relationships…two flawed and finite humans, living and maturing together, will inevitably push each other’s buttons. Because intimate relationships are too complex ever to be negotiated entirely smoothly, you might as well commit to one, and see what happens. There are no guarantees – except the guarantee that holding back from life is a recipe for anguish. (I’m in a perfectly imperfect 43-plus-year relationship with the greatest person I’ve ever known. I am so lucky.)
- Few things are more appealing, when you’re hoping to change your life, than a new system for doing so. But…the real answer to the question of how to spend more of your finite time doing things that matter to you involves no system. The answer is: you just do them. You pick something you genuinely care about, and then, for at least a few minutes – a quarter of an hour, say – you do some of it. Today.
- Suppose you want to start a business, but the prospect intimidates you. What better way to never quite get around to it than to turn it into a long-term project? That way, you get to spend months doing research, and undertaking brainstorming exercises, and emulating the daily routine of one of your entrepreneurial idols, complete with 5 a.m. wake-ups and a ‘hydration protocol’… and you never have to do the scary thing at all.
- What’s one thing you could do today that would constitute a good-enough use of a chunk of your finite time, and that you’d actually be willing to do? Don’t get distracted wondering what might be the best thing to do.
I highly recommend this book. If you choose to read it, I hope you enjoy it.
All my best,
David